The Building of the Temple in Our Lives

The other day I was sitting down to read my Bible and was very unsure about where to read. I love the Old Testament, but do a lot more reading from the New Testament. Either way I found myself flipping to the same places I always read from and being drawn to the familiar stories. So I decided I would go somewhere I had rarely read from. So I opened up to Ezra. I have only read from Ezra in order to pass tests for my Bible classes here at Evangel or to find some supporting pieces of evidence for one of my theology papers. But as I read through it I really felt God begin to speak to my heart. I only got through about half of chapter 3. The reason I only got about half way through chapter 3 was because verse 12 really captured my heart. Before I talk about this verse it is important to understand the history leading up to this verse. The people of Israel had been divided into two kingdoms and both kingdoms had been exiled to either Assyria or Babylon. They were taken from their promised land and forced to live under a foriegn goverment and a foriegn set of laws and values. Ezra was written after the people came back from exile to their promised land. Many of those who had left the lands that they were exiled to were part of a new generation who had not experienced life before the exile. They were a generation raised under foriegn values and norms. They had never experienced the fullfillment of the promised land or the ability to worship in the Temple. But among those who had come back to the land after the exile were those who had experienced that life. They had witnessed the presence of God in the Temple and seen the promise fullfilled before their eyes. Going into exile was a time of trial and heartache for many. When they returned from exile their land was left uninhabited and not taken care of and their temple, their meeting place with God, destroyed. I think that this experience for them is much like the experiences we have today in our spiritual lives. We have a promise from God, a calling, and we see it being fullfilled before our eyes and suddenly things take a turn and we have been completely relocated in terms or our purpose and calling according to our thought's about it. We feel like the Israelites, unbearable heartache or overwhelming doubt. And just like the Israelites, when we are returned to that place of our calling, our view of it is either skewed or it seems different than before. I think this is because we try and rush back into that place and expect things to be the same as when we left it. We don't see the value of the experiences we had outside of those times that we considered part of our "calling". We don't wait on the Lord and focus on how he is going to use us now in the present and completely disregard them. All we can do is think about how we are going to get back to that place or how we are going to find it for the first time. This is when verse 12 really strikes a nerve. The people were gathered around watching as the foundation of the new temple, the meeting place with God was laid. Those who had experienced God before wept at this occasion and those who hadn't shouted with joy. How many times are we moved like this when we see the presence of God act in our lives after a time of trial? Do we recognize it? Or do we just see it as another happening in our lives? I want to be moved like those people. Not neccessarily with tears and outward emotions, but a sense of awe and wonder at the power of God. I want to be able to recognize the building of God's purpose and the presence he has in my life. My challenge is to think about the things God has done or is doing and the reactions that take place. Do we have awe? Do we just stand and watch it as simply a new plan that holds little significance? Do we see the presence of God and a place to meet him or only a building that was once destroyed and is now being rebuilt? How do you respond to the moving of God in your life?

The Good Samaritan

Battered, wounded, alone, left for dead. The man in the story of the Good Samaritan illustrates the place that so many of us are at. When I read the story of the Godd Samaritan my immediate response is to focus on the actions of the Samaritan or the men who passed by the poor beaten man. But looking back I find that I relate so many times with the man who was beaten. torn down by overwhileming stress and the doubts that cloud my vision, I find myself in the same place. The difference is I continue to struggle to stand back up on my own bruised and sprained legs relying only on my fading strength. I walk up to the very thing that has beaten me down in the first place and allow it to happen again just so I can keep face. Then the cycle starts all over. I never allow the Good Samaritan to nurse me back to helath. Instead I react to the others traveller's that ignore my existence. I try to pull myself together in order to portray myself in a porper light for these people. I pray that we, myself included, would allow ourselves to be taken care of and strengthened. I pray that God would press upon us the desire he has to be our Good Samaritan. The desire he has to place us on his own donkey and to take us to a safe haven where he can renew our strength. I pray he presses on us in a way that makes us wait for him and his mercies.

(Luke 10:25-37)

Contradictions and Restraints

So the last month has been very unique. I have travelled into uncharted territory and have discovered new things about myself and others. One of the things that has come to my attention is the contradictions and restraints that exist inside us all. I am working on a sermon that was sort of inspired by a psych class of mine and by this very revelation. In John chapter 5 Jesus asks a crippled man if he wants to be healed. The man makes excuses immediately why he has yet to step into the pool and be made whole. Jesus cuts through all of the excuses and very confidently, "be healed." The man then gets up and leaves.

As I read this I realized that we have all, myself very much included, been asked several times do you want to be healed. Maybe not a physical healing and perhaps its better phrased as do you want to be made whole. Do you want to God to put the pieces of a broken heart, of forfeited trust, of poor choices, that plague your life back together? We say yes and yet inside we scream no! We claim "Jesus heal me" and yet we hang on to the pieces of our lives that need to be healed and won't let God see or touch them. We get so overwhelmed by the past, the doubts, the fears, and the insecurities. They become the excuses that we didn't get into the pool in the first place. They become our infirmity that keeps us on the shores of the healing waters just far enough that the rising tide can't reach us.

We need to come to a point where we are truly willing to lay those things aside and reach out to God or better yet accept the power in his words, "you are healed." I understand that that is easier said than done, but is it. Is it really that difficult to ignore the thoughts that plague our minds or the choices that haunt us from our past. We have become a society who are professionals at repressing other convictions and thoughts why can we not do the same to these thoughts. And when has anything we done been more powerful than even the words of God. Why do we put so much on these powerless things when we have such a powerful God. My challenge to others and to myself is to lay these things down on the shore and to pick up our beds and be healed.

More thoughts on this subject will definitely follow :)

My Place in the Here and Now

These last few months I have done a lot of thinking and praying. I have entered a very new and different time in my life and I have many times had to convince my self that it was actually happening. I just recently moved into an apartment with two friends of mine. I have a job that I am work 40+ hours and I am living over 300 miles from my family. I have bills and responsibilities and people are calling me "ma'am" now. No one outside of my intimate circle sees me as a child or barely an adult, but as a member of society that needs to do her part. Inside I feel just like that 10 year old kid out riding bikes and getting into trouble knowing that all of my needs would be taken care of someone else. I have had to do a lot of reexamining of life as I have entered this time. I have thought several times why is it that I am doing this. I believe that this is totally God. I have a place in Springfield that only could be provided to me by God. Its not based on my family or on the influence of people I know. Some of it is partially because of the hard work I have put into it, but a lot of it has been because of the leading of God and the presence he has in my life. I am getting ready to apply for my ministerial license and I have the support of my family and friends as well as a church that I work in. A church that I was only attending for 3 months when the pastor asked me if I would consider coming on staff as the intern. That he felt that God wanted to use me in this church and that he wanted to help me learn what I needed to learn in order to pursue the calling God has on my life. So as I sit here and spout of random thoughts and recollections, I want to take this moment to thank God for his awesome presence in my life and for the wonderful provisions he has given me. I thank him for a wonderful set of parents and four incredible syblings. I thank him for great friends and church families. And I thank him for the gifts he has given me and the opportunities he has made available. Thank you so much for all you have given me!