So I wrote this back in October. Its something from my journal and its a rare occurence that something like this is ever shared from journal on such a public avenue, but its something that has been echoing in my thoughts and heart especially lately. Please bare with me as I know that some of my posts aren't as happy or enlightening lately. Just trying to get things out of my head. I hope that maybe this will resonate with someone who may feel the same way. Blessings!
October 25th, 2008
I sit in the darkness feeling the whole world crash down on me. Voices everywhere demading my presence and my obedience. I feel the grips of cold, thin hands pulling me to their desired destination for my life. All of the commotion and noise and yet so alone I feel. The masks I where hide who I am inside showing only what I want the cold hands and shrill voices to see. I give all of them what want while I sit in the dark conrer alone. I only want to be seen, to be heard, but I know the pain that perhaps may follow and allow the complacency I have chosen to overcome me. I become stagnant and numb. Haunted by every choice, every past failure with no one to protect me. I just want someone to hear me and not hurt me; to love me and not leave me. I wan thte arms that will hold and guard without breaking me. I sit here tired and worn with only the dark walls to turn to. Someone hear me. Uncover my eyes and shield me from the fight. Give me a chance to live without doubts and without worries. See me for who I am and love me for that.
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